Author: Melissa Higby, LMT
I am fascinated with relationships. I love to observe my relationships and other people’s relationships. I have discovered that relationships are a full time job! Some relationships appear or feel easier than others. However, they still take focus and commitment.
I will be celebrating 20 years of marriage this month and I have learned a multitude of lessons in building a successful relationship. All of these lessons have been applicable to every other relationship I’ve encountered: parents, friends, practice members, etc. So, this month, I share my tips for a GREAT Relationship.
Gratitude. Gratitude is a relationship essential. Whether we want to admit it, or not, we have attracted EVERY relationship to us…the good and the not so good. Each relationship is presenting an opportunity for us to learn a lesson. Sometimes the things that drive us crazy in a relationship, actually mirror some of our own behaviors. It is easy to express gratitude for those “easy” relationships. How do you handle the more difficult ones?
Recognize. Recognize there is only one person in charge of your happiness…YOU! Along those same lines, you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness. This is true for love relationships, as well as our practice members. We are the vessel…not the cure or, happiness in this example.
Expectations. Expectations have the potential to cripple a relationship. Expectations are pre-meditated judgments and not to be confused with intentions. Expectations focus on what you want someone else to do. Intentions focus on what WE are going to do. This is why Dr. Morter says, “Love them more and expect less.”
Acceptance. Acceptance is key! Acceptance of who and where they are in their journey. Acceptance of where and who they want to be. Acceptance of me is just as important. I have witnessed so many conflicts resolved with this one simple truth. Even in the most heated discussions, when I stop in my mind and remind myself to accept the difference we are discussing, the heat diminishes and the problem dissolves.
Truth…as in speaking your truth. Speaking your truth may be done verbally, or non-verbally. If you verbally speak your truth, communicate clearly, precisely and focus on the You in the equation. You may speak your truth just as loudly without uttering a word. For this to be effective, we must be completely clear on WHO we are and present ourselves without anticipating a response from another individual or the outcome of a particular situation.
In the end, your relationships, just like everything else, are your choice. So, why not choose GREAT Relationships?
Gratitude
Recognize
Expectations
Acceptance
Truth
